Moving House

http://kdstrider.wordpress.com

Mr Darby and the Child of Destiny

In two days time I head back to Exeter. Since handing in the dissertation, I’ve being doing anything I can that isn’t drama related. Unfortunately, such a notion isn’t really that possible. When you study a subject in detail, you’re let behind the curtain, so that its very presence permeates into reality. Potential PhD topics drift past me all the time, and you can’t ignore them, because one of them will be what I will devote three years of my life to.

However, distracted I have been, spending most of the time with Chivers and Cumella. It’s quite nice being back with the Worcester gang; something that hasn’t occurred since we were at college. Cumella spent a year in Canada after his degree in Leeds, I’ve been in Exeter and Chivers graduated from Bournmouth. Fainer is currently in Australia, so I wont see him till November and Harty is back in Worcester working (yes one of us has a proper job). However, the main purpose of this entry is to mention an individual who has had a remarkable affect on my life. A man named Chivers.

Many people don’t believe that exists, but trust me he does.

Remarkable things have happened to him, and fortunately I myself have been witness to them. Others I hear from him and others, and I can only imagine what he gets up to. I wont list all his triumphs here, because it would take too long, and I forget a few of them, however recent highlights include getting his hair caught in a lathe drill and scalping himself and nearly having his head caved in my his 10 month old nephew. However, Chivers is currently job hunting, so I thought I’d help. Having spent the day helping him on his portfolio, we embarked upon a road trip to an interview with me navigating.

Now it is worth noting that Chivers hasn’t got a good track record with interviews. For one interview he turned up a week early to the surprise of his potential employers who were not prepared at all. For another he simply misheard a question, believing it to be “What sound does a car make?” rather than “What makes the sound in a car?” He of course answered, “Brum Brum?”. He didn’t get the job.

After 20 minutes I was surprised to see Chivers had finished his interview, so we nipped off to visit the grand-parents. Now an odd coincidence is that my Nan lives just round the corner from Chiver’s, right in the north of Birmingham. So we managed to visit both of them. We then had lunch at the Pie Factory, which was fantastic as usual.

Today, an important event occurred. I met the new Chivers, the prodigal son aka the child of destiny. Well his nephew and god son to be precise. I have never met such an expressive baby, transfixed by Cumella and my scarf, it was an absolute joy to hang out with him, and was truly one of the highlights of the entire summer.

Had a night out with Team Red which was great, and went round to Zozo’s last week and watched the Summer School dvd with Mani and Bobbi. I still don’t know yet whether I will don the red activities shirt again. Maybe if I have a good team again.

Back to my own family now, and as usual my brother isn’t home. However, he’s not round his girlfriends but at university. Yes my little brother has started university. A few days before he moved in properly I got up at 5 in the morning and drove him down to Plymouth. He was asleep in the car leaving me with Mr Moyles for a few hours. Because the campus is in the city the police closed some of the roads temporarily so new students could park. This left us a window of two hours to unpack. Now me and my brother are very different, we get along but we are very different. I try and be optimistic, and he’s a miserable bastard. He’s not that bad really, he just moans a lot. However the moving in went pretty smooth and he sounds like he’s having an ok time.

My sister is back in Edinburgh in her new house with her big room, I ought to ring her. My cousin has started high-school and is settling in fine, and I am here, prepping for the PhD. I spent this morning organising finances and trying to find tutoring jobs, I got sent a load of stuff for teaching which has awakened my nostalgia for my undergraduate studies, so hopefully that will last me 3 years. I still don’t know what I want to do for the PhD, to tell you the truth there have been times over the last few weeks, when I’ve thought about not doing it. It’s not the challenge of 3 years, because that will go by in a blink of an eye, but my subject matter. Performative Walking? What the hell does that mean?

That question will be my starting point.

Unbottling.

The dissertation is in. The MA is finished. Now I all I need to know is whether I will get the thumbs up or the thumbs down.

I'm currently living back up North now. At the moment, my brother is about to leave for his holiday, and it's all a bit frantic. Yesterday, Holly and I took him to Merry Hill, a shopping centre near Birmingham that we visited as children. As children we nicknamed it 'Merry Hell' due to the fact that each tier is akin to that of those in Dante's Inferno. Holly and I didn't need anything in particular, but we exercised our duties as older siblings to help our little brother. Before the journey itself began, both Holly and I had visited the dentist. Mine was just an annual checkup, but Holly had a filling which left one side of her face completely numb, so that when she spoke it looked like she was trying to be some sort of ventriloquist. Sat in the car I tried to extract myself from my hoody, and my sister sensing my difficulty decided to help pull the hoody off me; what resulted was that my arm bent in a way it was not supposed to, causing my entire shoulder to lock and trap a sizeable amount of nerves.

My brother has gone now. Complete silence. Ten days in Turkey. He'll be fine. If they get to the airport on time.

These last few weeks have been pretty surreal for me. Frantically writing, reading, re-writing and now nothing. The year has flown by quicker than I thought. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm currently sorting things for next year with the PhD. I still need to arrange an appointment with my supervisor. I'm teaching as well next year, which both excites and terrifies me. I'm not too fussed about being placed in front of a group of people and discussing things, its just that for a drama student, there are a lot of gaps in my knowledge. Some subjects I am a bit rusty on, but others I don't know anything about at all. Oh well, I'll cross those bridges when I get to them.

I still need to find a job for next year, I have this wonderfully romantic notion that I will be able to tutor and such, but if that falls through I'll need something, in order to eat. And I need to eat, these past few weeks have caused me to lose weight, which is something I can't afford to do.

My house though is sorted. I'm living with 4 PhD students of various fields and backgrounds who seem like a pleasant bunch. I am yet to sign a contract, but that is due to the fact that we've only just found a 5th housemate.

Next week, it'll be a year since grandad left. I'm not usually accustommed to talking about these things on a blog, and also our family bottles everything up, but I was asked once what my favorite memories of him were, and as soon as I said them, I instantaneously felt better, like a great weight was lifted. Some things can be bottled up, but not emotions. For a person who has spent nearly 10 years on and off the stage, I'm still pretty awful when it comes to this.

Grandad.

I remember, that he was the only person I've met who could do the 'double-take' in real life. When greeting me, he'd always emphatically shake my hand, smiling 'Hiya KJ!'. He could turn a room full of strangers into his best friends with a smile and a wink. Even till his lasting days, he had an energy that was felt by all he met. He had a cheeky face that could get him away with murder, a mouth that released a musical laughter that became infectious to all who heard it. He'd play the piano with my sister, like some figure in England's music hall tradition of the past. He had a collection of cuddly toys that would sing songs. He'd sign all our birthday cards with W/R (Wolverhampton Road, the school in which he was educated and was very proud of this fact). When he visited me in Wales with Nan, they'd always stop off and visit the red kite centre. He loved it because he was seeing birds that were never seen in the city, the air was better for him and made him younger. One of the last things we did together was go for a walk in the fields behind my house. I can't remember what we spoke about, but I remember having to point out rabbit burrows and such for him to walk around. Mum had to pick us up because he couldn't walk back. I've only just remembered this walk, I don't know why I hadn't before. The last place he visited was Aberystwyth, a place that was important to both of us.

There is another reason why Grandad has weighed on my conscience. A few weeks before the submission date of the dissertation, Exeter University's Drama Department lost one of it's staff. My teacher who I did not know well, having only known her not even a year, but I looked forward to working with her for the next 3 years at Exeter. It is because of her that I saw Bertolt Brecht in a new light, as well as painting and performance. The most important piece of information she imparted on me was that no reading is pointless, every book you read will have a use at some point.

Danke Birgit.

Holly and I are going to see Nan next week, to see how her garden is doing.

Le Corbusier's Gaze

To my left I have a photograph of Le Corbusier staring at me. Its quite ironic having him here, as the figures I write about have strived to combat the very architecture he designed.

I am sat at a long desk that spans the width of the room, under a low beam. It is over 30 degrees celcius outside and not a cloud in the sky. Yes I'm not in England. I am in a small village not far from Bezier in the south of France where for the last 7 days I've been holidaying, for want of a better word. To be honest, it has felt like a holiday. I've spent time with my family, eaten good food, drunk wine and actually read something that was nothing to do with drama.

Highlights include a trip to the medieval town of Carcassone, where apparently Robin Hood Prince of Thieves was filmed. However, that wasn't the reason we visited it. Its a truly wonderful little gem, full of narrow winding medieval paths and roads brimming with shops and restaurants. No sweeping Haussmann boulevards here, no Corbusian secularised buildings. You could get lost here and not feel worried. It was worth the trip to France alone, and made me want to see Kevin Costner attempt an english accent again.

However, a slave to academia I remain, getting up early to work on the dissertation, sporadically editing throughout the day before making necessary corrections the following morning. Its going ok. The third draft reads better than the second (sorry Ila), as I've had time to reflect, to take my head from within the clouds and acess the situation from afar. Both my parents have read my second draft and my sister, the first chapter. My brother was only interested in the pages with pictures alas, but an outside eye is an outside eye. It was quite surreal handing it over to my parents, as I've never let them read my essays since high school. My mum was interested in it and raised some interesting points. My father didn't wholly understand it, but gave me some useful tips on presentation and such (as he reads a lot of reports in his job). I am now basicaly in the polishing stages, making the essay read well, connecting all the points and remaining consistent with my grammar aswell as binding the bloody thing. I haven't been able to fit all I wanted into it, as it is only a dissertation, but hopefully it'll be enough.

Back from the Dead

I am sat in the only free space of my bedroom, surrounded by boxes comprising of all I have accumulated over a year. I've moved out. For a month. It was sad leaving as I really enjoyed living in that house with my housemates. Oh well. I'll only be moving round the corner.

Now I am sat with what looks to be the second draft of my dissertation, complete with pictures and references! Its still way off completetion yet, as some of my sentences are a bit too wordy and a couple of references need to be completed, but it is a dissertation nonetheless. I've been very lucky in comparison to that of some of my friends as this is all I've had to do since I finished with the Shakespeare. Some of my friends are true machines, working part time and writing a dissertation, which is something that I will need to get used to for the next 3 years. The only setback I had occurred a few nights ago, when my computer was hit with 3 viruses which knocked it into a coma. Fortunately I had backed everything up, but it was slightly annoying having to trek to the library or the department to work on it. However, last night, I restored it to its factory settings, and its back in the dissertation game.

What else have I done? Ah I went to France for 4 days which was nice. Although I spent alot of it on the diss (I always seem to panic when I leave Exeter). I popped into my old job for a day and got to work with my sister which was pretty cool. It was great seeing everyone again, and what made it special was that some of the kids from last year were there.

Today, I was supposed to be working on my introduction, but Mum, Loz and me got sidetracked by some documents that belonged to my Grandad. There dated in the 1650s and are connected to the English Civil War. Basically, it seems that we might be connected to Guy Fawkes in some way, which is pretty cool and might explain why I like V for Vendetta so much. Anyways, I scanned them into the computer and brought out the details to make them legible. The title is that of 'A Perfect Djurnal of Passages in Parliament' (written in ye olde english) which was the title of one of the earliest newspapers in Britain. This specimen however, is even rarer and looks to be notations made by a journalist for the newspaper. We still havn't deciphered all of it yet, but we are going to contact the British History Museum - who have a large collection of similar artifacts - for help.

Mum and I are fascinated by the history, my brother wants to know how much it's worth. Bless his capitalistic cotton socks.

Update: The signature of the document seems to be that of Thomas Winter who was...
"Sir Thomas Winter, 2nd Baronet of Huddington Court, was born in 1620, the only son of Robert Winter and Ann Faulks, who was of Flemish descent. His father Robert, was the youngest son of Robert Wintour the gunpowder plotter."

A Breather

Handed in the first chapter and a bit of my dissertation today. Exciting stuff. I already had 3000 words down, however after having a talk with my supervisor I realised that I'd gone of track straying and forgetting that I'm doing a dissertation on performance!

I've had a hell of a two weeks. My whistle-stop tour to Aberystwyth was a successful affair, however commuted from Tywyn to Aber each day got pretty tiring. I met some interesting people from all over the world skilled in performance, geography and anthropology and was fortunate enough to have encountered this research. It has given my dissertation a great boost. An unforeseen factor was going back to Aberystwyth. I don't know what it is about that place that pulls me unlike any other. I think its due to its comparative remoteness, up there in the middle of the Welsh coast. Walking through its streets and its hillsides reiterates memories of old. Its such a small place that they overlap. A walk to the best view in aber was one that I had done many a time, and before driving back to Tywyn one night I decided to do it.

Crossing the road at the point where Jon and I once drunkenly fell into a hedge, to the base of the bridge where one night it was really foggy and looked like a level in silent hill, past my old house, over the grass where we built our pirate snowman, round the corner into the woods where Pete, Emily and I stopped once and sat on a bench, to the forest where Craig and I walked into some Live action role players in battle, where Pete climbed a tree, where I took my family in my first year, through the trees and scrambling upwards into the daylight to behold the whole town from above; left: the university, national library, panning right through the town; train station, castle, pier, short-tempered sea, constitution hill; behind me where we had a bbq once and on the way back James' bag caught alight. Its still there.

I bumped into one of my old lecturers when I was there which was nice, and got to see Kevo (Twelfth Night, Cafe Cappella, Macbeth), the last of us who stuck around. He showed me his footage from the third year performances we did 2 years ago, which I had never seen. Which was great. It made me feel glad for not leaving Exeter this year. This year has gone too fast for my liking, I've been lucky enough to meet some truly wonderful people from all over the globe, and look forward to meeting more over the next three years.

I spent one night at home after the conference and then drove down here to Exeter for dress rehearsals for the Shakespeare project. I was pretty nervous. But it was good. It made me realise that acting is not really my thing anymore. I had a great time with the cast, and I thouroughly enjoyed working on that production, but its not for me anymore. We had a good turn out audience-wise considering it was the end of term, and hopefully I was psychotically-peverted enough for them. The final run, I really went for it, and relished every moment; something I hadn't done since Amadeus. Its such a bizzarre machine, acting. Its not about being believable, becoming someone else or thinking your someone else; its about telling stories. You are not given a part in a play, but a story to tell. It may not be a long story, or even a detailed one, but it is a story nonetheless.

After wrapping up the Shakespeare (or so I thought) I focussed all my attention on the dissertation. Unable to let go of the Bard fully, I took part in some Shakespeare workshops with Liz looking at all-male casts in Shakespeare's plays. It was nice, and over three days I got to play Rosalind, Macbeth, Duke Orsino and many others. I think I'm Shakespeared out at the moment.

Now, I am cracking on with Chapter 2 of my diss waiting for the cinema later.

At Base Camp

Currently sat in the dining room at home. There are flowers everywhere which hasn't helped my hayfever. I can hear my brother on the television aged 1 shouting wildly. In the corner, my sister's new hamster, which consequently explains the amount of 'duplo': my brother has been building mazes for her.

Barely made it to my train yesterday. Didn't realise how heavy my bags were and had 20 minutes to leg it from my house to the station. Literally got to the platform as the train pulled in. Read some journal articles on the train, but was pretty knackered.

I was expecting my brother to pick me up from the station, but instead was greeted by mum who told me that he had buggered off to Plymouth. Hopefully I'll see him again one day. Its nice being back here. It's been a while. Holly also came back yesterday from Norway, the first thing she said was that I looked brown. (She's currently my favourite sibling).

The pollen count is so high here though and I felt zombified this morning when I woke up. Spent the day, sorting fathers day things out and doing some last minute packing for the conference. Holly and I got bored so found a home movie of us when we were kids (For some reason I said 'cheeseburgers' a lot when I was a child).

At 7am tomorrow, I will be at the Porters Lodge in Aberystwyth awaiting a mini bus that will take me to Ynslas. Its going to be strange going back, as an outsider. Its also going to be a long day as I wont be finished til about 10 having been up since about 5. I've got a pretty whistle-stop tour ahead of me though as I drive off to Wales this evening.

Should be a laugh.

Drunk with Fatigue

Did a rough run-through today. Went ok.

I'm being laconic at the moment.

Perhaps I should move to twitter.

Finished my outline essay I think. I've found it very difficult writing about my dissertation, without being able to duplicate anything. It's like there's an elephant in the room.

I'm so tired and I don't know why. Its probably because I force myself to get up at 7 every morning. Conversely, I have lots of energy, which is making it difficult to sleep at the moment. Am going to go to the library later this evening to print off my essay so hopefully that'll get rid of some energy.

Stopped my all-veggy diet. The prospect of another veggy-fueled bbq did not appeal. I made a triumphant return to the life of a carnivore by eating 4 burgers finely cooked by Ila's boyfriend.

Got a blank postcard sent to me this morning, which I have to fill. See here. Have started a separate blog which is for my research. At the moment there is so much to take in and look at that I need somwhere to store all of my musings and ideas, and hopefully therefore find others in the similar line of research. You can find it here.

I'm a little bored at the moment. I know I shouldn't be, because:

• I have to be off book by Monday
• I have to do a poster for the Shakespeare Project
• I have to do a poster for Stored Sunlight
• I'm doing a poster for Chivers
• I have to finalise my house for next year
• I have to organise my travel home
• I have a dissertation to do

So as usual in Darbyland, there's a lot to do. I'm just a bit zombified at the moment. Sleeping awake.

Oh and I need a hair cut. I'm starting to look like Frodo Baggins again.

Getting out of the theatre

Clowning is going good, have found my grotesque-psychopathic-clown that will the basis of Richard. Lines are slowly coming together.

The dissertation is going ok so far. I've been pretty organised, planning as much as I possibly can, referencing whilst writing to avoid the monotony of doing so in August.

I also have a bookchair, which means that I have another hand free to type, which is always nice.

So far, I've read Lefevbre's Writings on Cities, re-read Pearson's In Comes I and am about to finish Lights Out For The Territory by Iain Sinclair. I'm flitting from Psychogeography to Site-specific for economic reasons but also, because it allows me to make sense of the shape of the essay as I'm reading. The parallels I have already found between these books have spurred me on further and have reassurred my choice in making this line of research.

Since, the PhD proposal (By the way I got a rejection letter from Queen Mary, gutted) application, my idea of backpacking and dramatised landscape has lost its appeal. Firstly, in terms of economocs such a study would prove financially draining and secondly, it would probably overwhelm me. 

I have therefore returned to one of the first topics I happened across back in February: Psychogeography. There is only one book with that title in library - sat amongst the philosophy section - and its title alone intrigued me. It made me aware of the fact that I really needed to get out of the theatre. I've been in it for nearly 10 years now and its got a bit claustrophobic. Whether it was stifling black box 'studio' at my high school, the stuffy nearly black box 'studio' (one side was blue) at college, the windowless studios at Aber, the poor acoustics at Morlan or now the illusionary vastness of Roborough; I needed to get out. These next 3 years therefore will not only be an important part of my life in terms of career prospects, they will also mark an evolution in my dramatic learning. A friend asked me the other day where had the wannabe actor gone? 

He's gone for a walk. 

Yann The Man

The Yann Tiersen concert was simply stunning, and one of the best things I've ever witnessed. I even bumped into the guy before it started which was a bit unexpected. He's certainly gone in a different direction since Amelie moving into the rock side of things. I'm not complaining though as it was truly astonishing to see him and his band live. He's got a new album out in september called Dust Lane which I will definitely be purchasing. Luckily I had my mate Jared there to witness it also, and he seemed to like it.

Learning lines for Richard III at the moment. Quite a bit of them, and their going in bit by bit.

Trying to find a house at the moment for next year.

Also started work on the dissertation now, but I havn't got far. I just have too much energy.

Also having a crack at being a veggy for a bit as an experiement. I'm a massive meat eater and eat it everyday, so the equivalent of going cold turkey would be my version of someone quitting smoking. Should be interesting though. Went for a run the other night, expecting myself to collapse due to the pollen count, but was fine. Hopefully my hayfever is leaving me.

Meeting Jon my old housemate later. Its been a while since we spoke.

Clowning, Wedding and Presenting

Just got back from another clown workshop. I'm really getting into this. Lauren is a fantastic group leader and the group themselves are equally fantastic. Basically, what we've done so far is to first become comfortable with each other and ourselves, involving the obligatory trust exercises and children's games. We've also been trying to find our individual clowns as well, finding them physically and more recently, vocally, as well as introducing a best friend (mines an old squash bottle called Gozzo) from the magic mountain that never leaves our side. It has truly been a remarkable experience because just before you don the red nose you have no idea what your clown will do or say. Anything goes. I'm not needed next week, which means that its back into line-learning mode.

The presentation, went ok, I'm amazed I got there in the end after less than a week's work. Apparantlely it was 'concise' and 'crisp', but could have done with more visual stimuli. Oh well never mind.

The big thing however was Cat's wedding. We left saturday morning by train to Blackwater (me doing work for the presentation), we dumped our stuff at the B&B, got changed before taxiing it to Sandhurst. It was amazing. It was my first wedding so it was extra-amazing. Cat herself looked stunning and her other half looked dapper in his regimental dress. Although in a suit, I felt pretty under-dressed. Afterwards, we went to the reception at a very nice hotel owned by the army with acres of land. Two words: Free Bar. Enough said. Met some great people, one of which introduced me to a theatre company that would be relevant possibly to the dissertation: Punch Drunk. Sobered up on the way home and had a great sleep.

Currently, I am working on the performance analysis for Waiting for Godot, and am having second thoughts as to its format. It has to be in for Monday, but ideally I want it finished Sunday afternoon at the latest, because I am seeing Yann Tiersen in the evening.

Yes

Just sent this e-mail:

Dear ,

I accept the offer.

Thanks,

Kris

Its official, I'm staying in Exeter to do my PhD! Very scary!

Sad news today, Augusto Boal died. I first heard about Boal when I was working on When I'm Alone I'm Alone with C&T2 back in 2004 (However, I thought his name was pronounced bowl) where a quote of his was included in my part:

"In its most archaic sense, theatre is the capacity possessed by human beings - and not by animals - to observe themselves in the act of seeing, of thinking their emotions, of being moved by their thoughts, they can see themselves here and imagine themselves there, they can see themselves today and imagine themselves tomorrow"

Brilliant.

Am well on the way to finally documenting everything dramery I've done over the last ten years (http://www.krisdarby.exofire.net). Hopefully it'll work. 

On May 1st we had a Wicker Man night at Carey and Jareds which was fantastic. Carey introduced me to this great pen and paper game which was hysterical then we introduced Kim, Claudia, Jude and Ila to The Wicker Man. I hadn't seen it since uni and forgot how funny it was.

Also randomly bumped into Jon my old housemate at Aberystwyth in town the other day. Pretty weird. Small world though.

I might have to say yes

Had a chat with my module coordinator today and explained to him whether me wanting to change my propsal will effect my funding oppotunity. He said, 'No don't worry about that, we want you.' Well thats sorted. I also found out that for the 80 hours of teaching I do a year, I wont be paid extra. Therefore, I need to rethink my finances, I've started looking into becoming a part time tutor to earn some money. I still need to find a house, but it looks like I'm going to be here for another three years. Its going to be a long road but I reckon I can do it. 

Here comes the PhD.

Oh Bugger

Just received this e-mail

Dear Kris

 

I am pleased to inform you that SALL Board of Graduate Research is offering you a University doctoral bursary. Bursaries provide an award of £7,000 per year for three years. Bursary recipients will be required to carry out 80 hours support work a year within the School in the form of teaching, research support or as an International Ambassador.

 

Please note annual renewal of the bursary is subject to satisfactory progress of your PhD.

 

Please notify us as soon as possible and no later than 5^th May that you would wish to accept this offer. I would be grateful if you could email the Postgraduate Administrators to confirm this.

 

Oh bugger.

The good thing is that they liked my proposal and they believe it would make for an interesting project. However, in lieu of my last post, unless I can change my proposal, I am to all intensive purposes buggered. In addition to this, I will need to find a way to survive on £7000 a year including tuition fees. I'm chuffed though that I've been given something, its more than what I was expecting.

I've Changed My Mind

This week I will hopefully find out whether I will be given PhD funding for Exeter. I am still interested in doing a PhD, however, I want to change my proposal. My original plan was to examine the landscape and the ways in which it is dramatised through the backpacking state of mind. I have however, recently had a change of heart, from reading Calvino and doing this critical bibliography and have decided to revert back to what I was interested in originally; namely that of psychogeography. I'm writing this now because I don't want this week's decision to change the fact that I want to change my propsal. If I can't change it, I may have to just turn down the funding. This may seem quite rash, but I know for a fact I couldn't do something for 3 years that I wasn't interested in. I'd go mad.

As of 3am this morning, we finished principal photography at Kay house for Shields of Justice. For the last few weeks over the Easter hols I've been spending time on set, acting, lighting, filming, carrying, pretty much helping out in whatever way I can. I'm not alone, and this project has been shaped really by all the people who have committed themselves 100%, to help Ben & Tom achieve their dream. What I like about this film in particular is the freedom, the patience of Ben & Tom and their willingness to hear any idea no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Part of the reason we were up so late, eating apples and werthers originals as well as the odd sachet of sugar, was because we all knew that we didn't just want this film to be good, we wanted it to be more. I've still got more to do on this project, and I look forward to it greatly.

The City

Just got back from London.

It was a nice 4 day break in a different location. Met Sam at Victoria and then managed to find Hugh and Gemma's place somewhere south east (I think) of London. Its the first time I'd been to the capital for fun since the production environment trip I did at uni back in 2005. We didn't do the touristy things, just drifting round London, visiting the Tate Modern, a noodle place that was off the pH level, and a retro sweet shop. London has made a different impression on me this time round. Beforehand, I was always intimidated by the big city with its overwhelming buildings and masses of people pushing through the intricate network of public transport. This time round though I got to see the appeal of London. I still don't know whether I could live there myself but I can see why others do. I took with me Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino to read, which presents a series of ficticious accounts by Marco Polo of fictional/actual cities. I haven't read a book quite like it. Not only does the writing flow so well, but the brief impressions it gives you of each city stay with you until what you end up with is not a series of cities, but one city. What Calvino therefore presents is individual facets of the cities we all know and are part of, whether we are outisde of them, perceiving them as a whole, or within their walls, an active part of their construction.

"The city, however, does not tell its past, but contains it like the lines of a hand..."

"Many are the cities ..., which elude the gaze of all, except the man who catches them by surprise." 

"For those who pass it without entering, the city is one thing; it is another for those who are trapped by it and never leave. There is the city where you arrive for the first time; and there is another city which you leave never to return."

"Elsewhere is a negative mirror. The Traveler recognises the little that is his, discovering the much he has not had and will never have."

"It is not the voice that commands the story: it is the ear."

 Before leaving for London, I also started my first day of shooting on Shields of Justice. It was basically just background stuff, which was fine by me, which involved me looking confused in the lobby. The level of detail and attentions put into the production is simply staggering and the energy of everyone involved is relentless. It looks like I'm going to have a lot of fun on this one. Although I'm probably going to have to grow some sideburns.

Before then, Holly and Laurence drove down for the day. It was great because it was the first time in which the three of us got to hang out in ages. I took them round Exeter, stopping at the Imperial for lunch, before heading to the Quay and through the highstreet. Turns out Laurence is looking at going to Plymouth this year, so if I get the funding, he'll just be round the corner.

I still need to do some work, and learn lines I guess.

Exeter Interview

Had my interview at Exeter today. I don't know exactly how it went, I just delivered my presentation and they asked me questions. As for how good it was, I wont know until the 23rd, but we'll see. The dificulty I'm facing at the moment is the justification to myself about it. This is a project of my own creation, it has its influences but its something I've set out to do myself which is both exciting and terrifying. The major thing I got out of the whole process was the lunch afterwards. Not just for the food, which was nice. I got to meet people interested in PhDs and members of the department. It made me realise the sheer variety of different topics that are being studied in the department. By freaky coincidence, I met two guys waiting for their interviews both affiliated with Aberystwyth. One actually acted in the production of Merchant of Venice that was part of the school shakespeare project that I had to study in my first year. The other is studying performance arts at Aber and is experienced in walking as performances. Regardless of whether I get the funding or not, these sort of meetings introduce you to new ideas and other people's work.

Yesterday was a good day. Do you ever have those sort of days where everything just clicks? I got an e-mail from an academic associated with backpacker tourism:

Dear Kris,

Many thanks for the outline of your Research, which looks very interesting. 

I think you may need to make a clear choice between the qualitative and
quantitative elements of the research as you have currently defined them.
Although surveys might help to gather information on the scale of backpacker
performance and how often it might take place in different settings, for
most of the information you need I would say that qualitative research is
probably more relevant. You might also look at some techniques which combine
the two approaches, such as Q methodology. I have attached a paper that
might be of help here.

The new version fo the Global Nomad research is also available on the WYSE
Travel Confederation website (www.wystec.org - see the research pages).
There is also a report on the cultural impacts of youth travel, which might
also be useful.

This paper (all 14 pages of it) was of enormous benefit to the presentation I gave today, encouraging me to make a change of emphasis for my proposed research. Instead of just considering the backpacker as an individual, I also want to consider them as a community or culture. "anonymous intimacy" was the term I liked, being both part of something, but isolated as well: neither here not there. I sent a reply and received this back:

Dear Kris,

Glad that staff was useful. I don't think that defining the backpacker is a
real issue. Backpacking is more a state of mind (or a more of performance)
than anything else.

Good luck with the application.

Cheers,

Academics have found it difficult to define a backpacker (to be honest so do most backpackers) instead opting for a hybrid of other titles, such as drifter, tourist or traveller. For the quantative research needed, I would have to consider how I would differentiate between the different types of walker when interviewing.

I just need to wait. To be honest there's a lot of competition here (about 70 I think) with people from all over the world all trying to stake their claim. I never imagined I would be in this position. At the beginning of February, I didn't have an idea of what I wanted to research. Now I've just been interviewed for a PhD. Its all a bit bizarre. 

With this out of the way I still have several things that I need to do:

-Start work on Shields of Justice, the guys say I can visit the set whenever I want, but I'm not too sure when I begin work on the project myself

- Begin writing my critical bibliography of books for my dissertation (what dissertation?)

- Begin work on my performance analysis - probably going to do Waiting for Godot

- Finish graphics for Judith's storybook project

-Work on application for Victoria University

- Attend Landscape conference at Aber

- Book a place on a workshop in June based in Snowdonia (girl I met today is one of the guys running it)

Next week I'm going to London! Bought my tickets yesterday. Looking forward to it, havn't properly been since 2005 (Last time was with 50 Chileans last January). Meeting up with Samwise who's taking a break from the rigours of DJing in Orkney. He reckons we're the new Mayo and Kermode. 

Also my sister and brother may visit next week, which would be good cause its rare thats its ever just the 3 of us. Hol's in her 3rd year I think of Uni and Loz is choosing which uni to go to this year.

Anyways Easter wont be boring.

Got an interview

Got an e-mail saying that I've been shortlisted for an interview at Exeter.

Your interview time is at 11.45am on 03 April 2009.

It says that I have to prepare a 10 minute presentation for it, which although unnerving gives me something to prepare.

I also got a reply from an academic associated with tourism

Thank you for your proposal, which looks most interesting - the research will certainly be fascinating to carry out.

 

I am not particularly up to date with sources on backpacking tourism, but you can find a good many listed on Google Scholar, and it may be worth contacting Kevin Hannam, at Sunderland University, who chairs the Backpacker Research Group for Atlas.

 

For your methodology section, you will need to be much more rigorous in explaining how you select your backpackers for survey or interview. You also need a much better understanding of what quantitative research is!

 

Where are you thinking of doing your PhD? It's the sort of thing that the Centre for Tourism & Cultural Change at Leeds Met might be interested in.

I've suddenly realised how wholly ignorant I am of all things backpacking. Its more than just putting a bag on your back. However, I have been mulling it over so hopefully will have something to present next Friday. I am nevertheless, finding ways to put it off. Have started my critical bibliography and am thinking of doing waiting for godot for my performance analysis. Spent the morning helping my flat mate emily with a photobook for her nephew's first birthday. Going to walk to Tescos now, and the weather is absolutely awful!

Some News

Got a notification from QMU that they have recieved my application. This combined with my Mother's recieval of her Mother's Day card has given me faith in royal mail.

I've also heard back from one of the guys who was connected with the Global Nomad project.

"Dear Mr Darby,
Thanks for your note. I find your project innovative and interesting, 
though  do not see how the quantitative BP data fit in. In fact, the routes 
you describe, and which exhibit a highly post-modern character, are probably 
not specific for BPs. 
There is a strand in tourism studies looking at tourism as performance (Ed 
Bruner, B. Kirschenbaum) with whom you might be familiar.
Re the BP Research Group: I am not a member of that group, but you might 
approach Greg Richards, who will be able to respond to your question."

I've already e-mailed Greg. "innovative and interesting" is a bit encouraging though. The only bit of info I've heard from people so far, and I know how to apply it to Qualitative research.

Got another reply from an academic connected with backpacking:

suggestions: 1) get at backpacker experience rather than survey  2) you don't site the relevant backpacking literature which is extensive (people at Leeds could help you here 3) just because you are a backpacker be careful not to impose your ideas on the data.

I totally agree with the experience, as it is necessary, however, I think to give it structure, some form of quantative research is necessary. I am really wholly ignorant on backpacker literature so will e-mail Leeds. And finally, this enters the question of ethics in my proposal, something I've been umming over for a bit now; how involved do I get in the interviews? 

Waiting and Reading

I've broken up from Exeter for the Easter holidays. But it doesn't feel like a holiday.

On Thursday I completed two application forms for PhD funding (one at Exeter and one at Queen Mary). I cannot believe that I have even considered such an idea. It quite frankly didn't seem possible. Since starting reading at the beginning of February my ideas for a possible PhD research topic have evolved a bit. I began with looking at narratives and their existence in design, focussing on architecture. I then moved to travelling with a bid to examine travel philosophy and its place in the rehearsal environment. I then moved from that to Psychogeography before finally deciding to examine the backpacker and their relation to ambulatory performance. But as my Professor puts it, we're still all feeling around in the dark. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.

To be honest I'm torn. I know that if I get offered the funding I will have to take it because its rare that it happens. However, it does mean that I will be living in the world of accademia for three more years. If I don't get it, career-wise it'll be harder but it would encourage me to stick a pack on my back and leave the country. I'm not ready to settle down, find a 9-5 job and thats it. Not yet. There's still a lot for me to do.

Went home last weekend and saw two of my heroes on stage. Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart. I still cannot believe I saw these two giants together before my eyes doing star jumps on stage in Waiting for Godot. Its a classic, but a classic that has been done to death my many students over the years. However, Paddy and Ian were fantastic, and I felt very lucky to be able to see them.

I have a big map of new zealand on my wall right next to me. There's a pin in Wellington. This is my back up. If I get rejected from both Exeter and QMU, New Zealand will be my last chance this year. There, I would get to travel and study and not feel torn. However, its more of a leap than what I'm currently hoping for. I mentioned this to my professor, and he reckons I should go for it.

Nevertheless, I am really setting in to the department here at Exeter. I've been keeping myself busy, as usual, doing rehearsed readings and performances. I'm currently helping Judith with her applied theatre project, Lauren with her clowning shakespeare project, Ioannis with his PhD project and have just got a part in a 70s cop series entitled 'Shields of Justice' which will be filming this Easter, which I'm excited about because I always enjoy short films. 

This enters me into a further difficulty. I don't know if I can do a PhD here without the guys I'm studying with. All my life I have been very lucky with the people I've worked with. There are only 6 of us on my course, but they are all truly remarkable and wonderful individuals; intelligent, well read and most importantly hilarious. We went for a picnic yesterday (its not snowing anymore) which was lovely, soaking up some Vitamin D and swatting bees.

So at the moment, I'm waiting. Waiting to see if Exeter will accept me for an interview, and reading, just in case they do. Its the calm before the storm. However, until the storm arrives I'm enjoying this sunshine.  

Snow, Darwin, Wallace & Gromit and Insect eating

Today Exeter was in blizzard conditions. Obviously, with such an event work was impossible and not really an option.

Went to a lecture on Darwin (its his 200th Birthday) which was very informative. The lecturer, Timothy Clack in particular spoke of the eating of insects. Apparently we ingest a kilo a year! Crazy. He then went and sent samples out in the audience for an impromptu buffet. Now I will eat anything once, and so supped with glee on Giant Grasshoppers, Silkworms, Dung Beetles (pizza flavoured), Ants (curry flavoured) and Locust. It wasn't bad, and I second helpings of ants. Needed a glass of water afterwards though. Also, at the Phoenix they have an exhibition of animation, with Wallace and Gromit in residence! What a day! Snow, insects and plasticine!

Sang Thong

Yesterday we finished the production of Sang Thong, a PhD practical production. It was a mixture of Thai and Western styles of theatre that followed the plot of a classic Thai fairytale. It was very interesting to work on as it gave me a crash course on Thai theatre, but it also marked my first theatre performance since Rape of the Fair Country back in 2007. I was pretty nervous to start of with, partially because of how I had become more disilluisoned by acting towards the end of my undergraduate, and consequently had not done any since. However, nerves aside, it went very well and we got good feedback. The nerves went as soon as I walked on stage and the lines didn't go.

At the moment I am between semesters, reading information on conjuring for my dissertation and design narratives for a possible PhD proposal. I'm scheduled to do some Shakespeare and two rehearsed readings, as well as the voice for Xpression Fm, so I'm keeping myself busy. However, I really don't know what I'm doing at the moment. I don't know whether my essay writing has improved or worsened. I talk of PhD proposals but if I'm not up to scratch, I wont be able to do one. Also funding wise its a bit of an issue. I'm looking at scholarships, but I don't think I'll be ready this year. I don't know why. Yet I don't want to live at home for a year.

Two major things I forgot to mention previously.

1) My trip to New Zealand. It was fantastic, and I have to go back...

2) My Grandad died. Malcolm William Plester.

He was a remarkable man. A vessel of energy and passion, and a comic genius. Stubborn til the end. When we left their house to go the funeral, everyone in the street was stood outside their houses. It was like royal procession. It was freezing that day, but the people stood there. I don't think I fully understood how much an impact he had on the people. I was very proud.

4 years since Twelfth Night